Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for July, 2010

Dear Nintendo…

Dear Nintendo,

I find the creation of the Poke-walker to be an ingenious idea. (For those not ‘lucky’ {insert sarcasm here} enough to have a Pokemon obsessed child…A poke-walker is a pedometer type gadget. The gist is that kids wear it and score points for the activity they log on the poke-walker. These points can be transferred back to the DS game.) Truly a great idea to get our video game obsessed children moving more.

However, EE has decided that attaching said device to the dog’s collar is a much more efficient way to quickly rack up points than actually wearing the thing himself. This was especially brilliant as our dog never. ever. sits. still. for longer than 30 seconds.

*****

Dear PTO Bitches Women,

I don’t have time for your petty bullshit games. The damn school year hasn’t even started and you women have already begun to make my life a living hell. Remind me again why I decided being on the Executive Board was a good idea? Oh yeah, it was to help my kid’s school and maybe eliminate some of the cliques. So far – not so good.

****

Dear Bankrupt Homebuilder,

Thanks for nothing. If one more damn thing breaks in this house I am going to go ballistic. The nice mold circle on my dining room ceiling is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Really? How hard is it to properly seal a shower drain? Must be incredibly hard since we are the 4th house in a one block radius to suffer the same said ‘mold circle’.

****

Dear Prospective Employers,

I do realize that I do not have a degree. However, completely shit canning tossing my resume into the recycle bin without even considering me as a candidate sucks is not cool. It is not like the positions I am applying for are ‘Rocket Science”. Seriously. I just need a decent part-time job that is a little more stimulating than being a Wal-mart greeter. I don’t think that is so much to ask for. If you had taken the time to read my resume and accompanying cover letter you would know that I haveĀ  crazy mad superior technology skills. I was an IT Rock Star before birthing my child.

****

Dear Husband,

I am really trying. I am applying for every position under the sun. Apparently no one is impressed with me or my awesome tech skills except you (and I amĀ  guessing even that is debatable right now. SIGH.)It is also not my fault that grocery prices are skyrocketing and the value of our home – well…it can’t get much worse could it?

****

Dear Clutter and Disorganization,

Get the FUCK out of my home. I can not deal with you anymore. I realize that it was I who invited you in, but you are no longer welcome. Leave and send your nemesis cleanliness to help rectify your aftermath.

****

Dear Summer,

You are so fun, but like the bad boys of my past, you coerce me into doing things that I know that I shouldn’t. You are a bad influence on my schedule and organization. I almost wish you were over so that I could get my shit stuff together.

****

Dear School District,

Please. Pretty Please. With. Sugar. On. Top. Place my child in the cluster classroom and admit him to the Language Arts gifted program. He really needs and deserves this. I am tired and really hate having to fight for everything. Could you please just do this for me? After all – I am enduring the crazy PTO bitches for you in return!

****

Mother,

Stay away. I am serious. I do not need your crazy ass in my life. I have the PTO bitches now. Your daily doses of insanity and constant reminders of what an awful, selfish person I am are no longer needed. Just sayin’.

****

Dear Karma,

Stop pissing in my Cheerios. Go and pick on someone else for a while. I am finished. You have beat me down. I am not a Rock Star and I can not possibly handle anymore drama.

****

Dear Jen at LAC and Casey at Raising Smart Girls,

Thanks so much for writing. You give ECEmom and I more comfort than you know. We know we are not alone and that there are other stressed out moms who feel our pain.

****

Dear Blog,

Thanks for letting me vent. I promise that I will be a better writer in the weeks to come. Summer has corrupted me. I will find the time to write more meaningful and well written posts very soon.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Too busy parenting to write at the present time, but read a fascinating article in Newsweek on the Creativity Crisis in our country. I shall post on that soon. In the meantime, I am chauffeuring EE to and from Robotics camp. Which he is loving and I am trying to find creative ways to spend the 7 hours he is there without using my credit card in the process.

Read Full Post »