The title may be ‘catchy’ and may even (hopefully) induce laughter, but make no mistake – there is truth in it. Having the knowledge of Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski’s work on ‘overexcitabilities’ truly is ‘lifesaving’ for many gifted families. (Not familiar – see links on the home page) My dear friend & co-contributor is a living testament to it. This incredibly strong woman with a wealth of knowledge on early childhood education was reduced to tears on several occasions by the behaviors of her two lovely, but brilliant young children. Temper tantrums, lack of sleep, itchy tags, and over reactions fill her days (even before their speech did). As do daily discussions about God and the clouds. In our house, we also have tags and the like, but our biggest issue is emotional. Emotions hit hard and fast in our home. ‘Drama’ reigns supreme in so many ways. In addition, we recently discovered that our precious child is also 2e or ‘Twice exceptional’. What’s that? He is gifted and has a learning disability. While the knowledge is power…it is also another struggle for this already too ‘cerebral’ child to deal with.
So what is our blog about? While our ‘title’ singles out Dobrowski (and we will be sharing the joys and sorrows of how the ‘overexcitabilities’ affect our families), we are basically trying to share what life for average suburban gifted families (at least we think we are ‘average’) is like. We often feel isolated as gifted moms. Who can we turn to to share the joys and sorrows? Particularly when the standard reaction to a gifted child (by those who are ignorant – or even those that are not) is, “What is she so upset about? Her kid is gifted.” or “They think their kid is so great. I wish they’d stop complaining about how smart she is.” Luckily our families have each other. We were great friends before the ‘discovery’ of our children’s gifts. We often talk about how it must’ve been divine intervention that placed us together, but not everyone is so lucky to have a support system two houses over. Our blog, we hope, will be a peek into life with our gifted children and oh-by-the-way…our gifted husbands too. (That could be its own blog…Can you relate?)
Why? Therapy for us. Humor and perspective for others. You are not alone….there are many of us living in the shadows of suburbia…trying to ‘blend’ in. This isn’t intended to be an educational forum…though if you do gain some knowledge – great! It is more or less a peek into our hilarious (at least we find humor in it) lives and hopefully help to others who are experiences are similar.
To protect our kids, we are really wanting to keep this journal anonymous. So we are asking for respect….friends, family and acquaintances…if you figure it out…PLEASE keep it to yourself. Our kids didn’t ask us to do this and mine would be ‘mortified’ if he knew I was writing about him. (I don’t think the hubbies would be too happy to let the cat out of the bag either. Although…we did warn them about a possible book in the future. LOL!)
Thank you for your blog. I have never written on a blog before, but I am so happy to find yours!!!
I have 3 kids, my oldest is 11 and highly gifted, our 9 year old is also identified as gifted and through him, we have recently discovered the world of emotional OE. For years, we have thought he was hypoglycemic, his mood swings were so severe and he has EXTREME separation anxiety, he still struggles as a 9 year old leaving me in the mornings for school. He has headaches, stomachaches, anxiety, crying spells until he falls asleep for hours. It has been a very long journey…. We have had blood tests (all normal), seen counselors and have been told by numerous family members that it is all attention getting behaviors…This just didn’t sit well with me, I know my child, I know there was something more going on…thankfully after finally spilling my guts to dear friend of mine (who has a Master’s in gifted education), she very calmly says “he has overexcitabilites.” I had no idea what she was talking about… She sent me all the information and it was like a light came on and a burden was lifted. I was not crazy… Come to find out our oldest also has all the OE’s, we always just thought he was really quirky. But our middle son has pretty severe emotional OE. Now, I just feel like I am late to the game, that I should have been helping my boys more…also frustrated that his gifted teacher didn’t know anything about OE. What a difference the last 5 years of education would have been for both boys if we had known…
Now I am wondering if our five year old daughter might also have OE. I just assumed her “drama” was about being the baby girl…is there any kind of checklist? We can’t really afford to have her tested at this point and will have to wait until she starts school, she also has major separation issues, she hates to be dirty(cleanest baby ever!), she cries at the drop of the hat, it took her 6 months to spontaneously speak in her preschool class(she is a non stop chatterbox at home) and tattles over every little perceived “injustice” She will start kinder in the fall and I want to be prepared!
Thanks again, living in a house full of OE’s is quite an experience…full of joy and unique challenges- something the people around us just don’t really understand or believe…I will be visiting your blog often.
Hi Mom of 3 -
Welcome!!! We haven’t written in a while and I just said to Ecemom that we really need to write more often. Life keeps happening and there are so many opportunities to write – alas – we haven’t. There have been some developments on the block and in the neighborhood lately and I really wanted to write about them. I feared that our neglect of the site has scared everyone off and then I read your comments. Thanks for writing. Thanks for for sharing.
OEs have certainly shaped our world and I don’t think that Ecemom would have survived without the knowledge given to her by our school district’s gifted coordinator. I am so very glad that your friend told you about OEs. I totally get that sense of relief. For me it came at a time when I feared that everything we were doing with our son was wrong. We can’t change the past. All we can do at any given time is our best. Isn’t that what we tell our children? I have come to realize that we do the best we can for our kids and they somehow – especially those emotionally sensitive kids – know it. (Whether or not they chose to acknowledge it is a whole other post.)
When I look at the inequity in education, I get so frustrated. Why don’t gifted issues get more attention? Why do we have to justify or explain everything? It doesn’t seem like any other ‘special’ group has to jump through hoops to be heard or acknowledged. I chalk a lot of it up to ignorance. False assumptions. Myths. Well intentioned people who simply don’t get it and when you try to explain it, they nod and smile and then walk away thinking that you are in denial or something. It certainly is super frustrating, but we persist because it is for our kids. Because as you said – we know our children – we know when things are ‘off’. If we don’t advocate for our kids, who will?
We have found so many ‘friends’ online. So many other moms who are living through some of the same issues. If this blog and our musings are helpful to others, then I am grateful. I am grateful for all those who have the courage to share with us as well. Thank you for sharing. Welcome to our little corner of the web.